Tuesday, March 20, 2012


I think I'm going to change the title of this blog to "My Journey of Renewal". It seems that I spend more time sharing deep thoughts, than actually anything about my home, hobbies, or jobs. :)

Change is a scary thing. Especially if you're a control freak like me. Change disrupts our plans, disrupts our course of action, requires a 'plan B, D, E, F, G, & maybe H', creates a need for discussion and evaluation, forces us to our knees. It can also be an exciting adventure, especially if you're an entrepreneur like me. Change creates opportunity, enthusiasm, new creative pursuits, defining & shaping moments, adventure into the unknown, forcing me to my knees.

So how can any 1 person both fear and embrace change all at once? Carefully. If I'm in control of the changing, then it's a wild adventure full of all my favorite things. But if it's out of my hands, it represents a scary, trust situation. I DON'T LIKE this scenario at all! A lot of time on my knee's!

I constantly re-arranged and re-painted my home in my early 20's as a way of being in control in an out-of-control life. I went through a very rough patch when I was 27, and my way of coping, I colored my hair. In the last 8 years, I've faced down some scary situations....cut my hair, changed the color, added a few tattoos, bought new shoes, re-did some rooms in my house. Anything I could find that was truly within my hands to control, I changed. It gave me a sense of peace believe it or not. Now mind you, with all this change, also came hours of prayer and bible study. Which left me slightly sleep deprived, which meant I battled with my Chronic Fatigue, which left me moody, which led to depression, which led to another room being re-done, or a new project started....which left me slightly sleep deprived. Do you see a pattern here? Rather cyclical don't you think?

Since I don't quit, and hate to fail, I will do what I have to do adapt to any given situation, in order to succeed. I would rather fail having tried, then just up and quit without giving it my all. How do you get anywhere in life when you just give up when it gets hard. To quote a famous 80's hit, "when the going gets tough, the tough get going. When the going gets rough, the tough get rough". This means I must adapt to change, embrace it always as a journey of renewal and growth. An opportunity to do, be, see, experience, something I might otherwise miss out on. Isn't that what adventure is about anyway? And I LOVE adventures!! 

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