Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Husbands Who Snore & The Women Who Love Them

I have come to believe that the women who write all the books on marriage, relationships, etc...encouraging us girls to be loving, supportive, wives and girlfriends, have never had a snorer in their lives. I'll save the farting, burping, and other generally disgusting behaviors for another day. (The men who write these books are probably didn't ask their wives if they snore.)

First of all, how can you possibly be pleasant to anyone if you haven't slept for more than 4 hours on a given night, due to the jet engines that are sleeping next to your head, let alone be nice to the jet?

I know all about cPaps, Breathe Right, weight loss, different pillows, allergies, etc... But anyone who says these are simple solutions, hasn't been married to a man. Men don't do easy solutions. They complain, deny, laugh, and then go find some buddies to agree with them.

These seemingly great guys, whom during the day are wonderful men - men who buy presents, take out the trash, tell you you're pretty - are signing their own death sentence at night. Do they realize the strength of character it takes to not smother them while they are causing us to slowly go deaf, deny us our beauty rest, and flop about all night long?

I think its a conspiracy. I think there is a secret snoring society or something. I think that they plot our demise, purposefully. It's as if they know that the lack of sleep will turn us into shrill, obnoxious, people they can then complain about. Maybe this is where PMS actually begins? Maybe instead of sleep studies, we need to study the correlation between snoring & nasty wives?

So to all those that have & love a snorer....I'm praying for you! Don't smother him tonight!!! Stay strong, take a nap during the day, sleep in another room, whatever you must do to remain sane. You're not alone.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Sheer Curtains

I have an ivory, sheer curtain in my bedroom. In the morning, since the window faces east, the sun will shine through the curtain & fill the whole room with bright, warm light. I can see the circular sun outlined. But most everything else is just kind of a blurry mess. It's beautiful really. In the middle of the afternoon, when the sun is on the opposite side of the house, I open this curtain so that more clear light comes in. Suddenly I can see every blurry object so very clearly & it's much less beautiful.

The curtain is translucent, meaning you can only see a general shape or color of the object on the other side. If it were transparent, I would be able to see every object clearly, just as I can through the window. When I want privacy, I pull the thicker curtains closed - they are solid and nothing is coming through them!

Christians are often encouraged to be transparent. In other words, those that identify themselves as such should be people who can be seen through, assuming that God will be visible on the other side.

I wonder, is transparent really what we would choose to be? Isn't translucent a better word for what we would choose? Do we really want people to see through us, or even see who we are for real?

Here's a better question - do we really want to see who other people really are? Do we really want to see them and their stuff, or would we rather see only a vague, general sense of who they are?

I think that we want our life and the lives of others to be more like that sheer curtain. We want to see the beautiful warm light. Even worse, we pretend that that's what we see or that's what we put on display.

"How are you today?" - "Fine." - "Great!" - End of conversation. "How can I pray for you?" - "Oh, just pray that God will continue to bless us." - "Sure." - End of conversation.

What if we asked expecting a real answer? What if we really answered? What if the conversation went like this - "How are you?" - "Kind of bummed. I was really hoping for something and it didn't work out." - "I'm sorry to hear that. I'll be praying that God bring some encouragement into your day. How about a cup of coffee on me?" - "Thanks!"

I think that the really real reality of life is that we want to believe there are people who have it all together, that everything works for, so we can feel hopeful about our own lives. I think we don't really want to answer questions in a real way, because we don't want anyone else to think WE don't have it all together.

I think we like living translucent lives and having translucent relationships. I think that we don't really want to deal with real, because real is hard, painful, tough, requires time, requires understanding, requires us to actually be LIKE Christ. We might have to DO something beyond pretending, beyond the sheer curtains.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

The Tough Stuff

When I started this blog, it was a way for me to stay accountable in my journey and create a 'forever' copy of some of my thoughts. Once online, always online....oh be careful little fingers what you type, photographer, and post!

Since I have no aspirations of developing a large following, I suppose it wasn't a great form of accountability. I have no desire to publish a book, so I wasn't particularly worried about maintaining a presence, or gathering enough info to put into book form. I would miss days, weeks, months, goodness whole sections of life. I could say it was circumstances, or I could say I forgot, or I could say it wasn't the priority at the time.

Reality says though that during the tough spots of life, I just didn't want to have to put anything out there for anyone to see or read. Plus, a computer at the pool is a disaster waiting to happen!

Since my official 2013 began in February, I find myself having some time for rest, work, play, God, creativity, cleaning, laundry, friends. I had forgotten how delightful it was to take a break, have some tea (I know not coffee, surprised right?), read a good book, do some journaling, find some respite from chaos.

I have also found though that there has been a different form of tough stuff. See, I started my year believing one thing, focused on one thing, determined to succeed in one area. I had a few set-backs, but overall thought I knew where I was going. Now, only 2 months in (well really just 1), I find myself thinking that maybe I should switch up my focus. Maybe I'm actually on a totally different road than I thought I was.

So what do you do with that tough stuff? What do you do when you discover that the road your on is the correct one, but it's name is not what you thought, and it's not going to take you where you thought you were going? What do you do when you find yourself in a place that seems so foreign, yet amazingly feels like home?

This is the truly tough stuff of life I think. The times where you are discovering the journey looks so different. So here's what I determined to do. Instead of rushing out and discovering a map of THIS journey, just in case, I'm going to just follow the road. I'm going to exercise faith. I'm going to not worry, not spend 100 hours a week working to reach what's ahead. I'm just going to WALK.

I've had some great time to spend with God. So I've been reading my Bible with a different perspective. I've been re-reading some great books on christian growth, spiritual development, warfare, the person of God, Godly leadership styles, etc...

I've exhausted almost a whole journal already with all I've been writing. I haven't kept up with the vacuuming...it'll be there when I'm done. I've gone from devotions, to my office, to the laundry room, to the dinner table, to the office, to time with God before bed. I find myself devouring His words, rekindling my deepest desires and joy, and identifying my truest self. I find myself growing into a healthier, happier person, feeling so free from the weight of plans.

This is the tough stuff of life....but I'm not sure I would want it to look any different.


I Must Confess - Day 3

Confession time here. Be prepared. Last night, after a fairly emotionally charged day, I snapped at my husband. I shall pause to let that s...