Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Husbands Who Snore & The Women Who Love Them

I have come to believe that the women who write all the books on marriage, relationships, etc...encouraging us girls to be loving, supportive, wives and girlfriends, have never had a snorer in their lives. I'll save the farting, burping, and other generally disgusting behaviors for another day. (The men who write these books are probably didn't ask their wives if they snore.)

First of all, how can you possibly be pleasant to anyone if you haven't slept for more than 4 hours on a given night, due to the jet engines that are sleeping next to your head, let alone be nice to the jet?

I know all about cPaps, Breathe Right, weight loss, different pillows, allergies, etc... But anyone who says these are simple solutions, hasn't been married to a man. Men don't do easy solutions. They complain, deny, laugh, and then go find some buddies to agree with them.

These seemingly great guys, whom during the day are wonderful men - men who buy presents, take out the trash, tell you you're pretty - are signing their own death sentence at night. Do they realize the strength of character it takes to not smother them while they are causing us to slowly go deaf, deny us our beauty rest, and flop about all night long?

I think its a conspiracy. I think there is a secret snoring society or something. I think that they plot our demise, purposefully. It's as if they know that the lack of sleep will turn us into shrill, obnoxious, people they can then complain about. Maybe this is where PMS actually begins? Maybe instead of sleep studies, we need to study the correlation between snoring & nasty wives?

So to all those that have & love a snorer....I'm praying for you! Don't smother him tonight!!! Stay strong, take a nap during the day, sleep in another room, whatever you must do to remain sane. You're not alone.

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