Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Insecurity

A little list of things that annoy me: running out of coffee; laundry forgotten in the washing machine overnight; sour grapes (both literally & figuratively – if I have spent all this money to eat them, they should at least taste good!); wrinkles; insecurity.

Wrinkles are a by-product of combining age and the list of annoying things. They are caused by all the frowning we do when there is no coffee to fuel us, while we do the same load of laundry for a second time, which we forgot about because the trying to eat the grapes was a total waste of time since they were sour and had to be disposed of, causing us to have to decide if the trash was ‘really’ full enough to have to go out or if there was still a little room left.

The last one on my list, insecurity, is the 2nd most annoying thing in my world. Running out of coffee is obviously #1. Most annoying things in life are just that – annoying. They inconvenience us, cause wrinkles, irritate us, and then we move onto the next moment of our life, as though they didn’t exist.

Running out of coffee causes happiness to cease, the world to stop, and rage to follow behind annoyance at an alarming speed. Coffee is what keeps the world smiling, motivated, and energetically facing all the other little irritants of life. Coffee is good. I should sell coffee. (Sorry, I lost my head there a little – my coffee was cold, and I was down to half of a cup. It’s all about priorities people.)

Insecurity is something that plagues us from a young age, it is rooted in lies and confusion, and has this ability to grow like dandelions in the garden of life. No matter how hard you work to eradicate, it seems to come back with friends. They blow in with the wind, and they sprout overnight, complete with little yellow flowers that lie to us about what odiousness is yet to come.

Confident people struggle with insecurity; insecure people are ruled by it. It will either motivate you to overcome, or it will paralyze you. Have you ever noticed that no one wants to chat about it? We avoid the discussion simply because we might have to reveal our own struggles with insecurity, and then people will judge us, which causes us to feel insecure about our insecurities. The cycle continues.

My hubs and I have been exploring this idea of insecurity, how they impact our daily lives, where they began, and why we hang onto them. Both of us have accomplished some pretty amazing things in our lives, trophies and awards to back us up on that claim. BUT… It is always the BUT that catches us.

Part of the problem is that we are part of a culture that compares everything, and attempts to make itself feel better by putting down or belittling anything that we don’t understand, don’t like personally, or are unable to do ourselves. We are literally creating our own little worlds where we can be superior to anyone, simply because we dread the idea of being inferior to anyone.

I believe, based on my own insecurities and working through some of them, that the best way to overcome, is to DO what we know we CAN, let go of what we can’t, and remember that ‘everyone’ really does not have it all figured it. Everyone is merely doing their best, like us, like me.

This became super clear to me one day, as I struggled with feeling insecure over something fairly small. The comparison game was in overtime as I tried to figure out why I was doing so poorly and someone else was doing so well. I was doing the same thing, the same way, so what the heck? Then, out of nowhere, I learned (I feel like I should put a dunh, dunh, duh here) we weren’t doing the same thing the same way. The person I was comparing myself too had HELP and resources I didn’t! SO, I was feeling insecure and inferior to someone who had an advantage over me.

It is super easy to look like we have it all-together from behind the camera or computer. Social media and easy access to technology is providing us with a false sense of reality. I can put clothes on, do my makeup, and post a selfie about getting groceries, without other people knowing I actually hadn’t gotten dressed, done my makeup or even realized I was out of coffee, until right before I left. (You will never actually see a selfie of me in this fashion because a) I don’t like selfies; b) I would go get more coffee without makeup – it’s all about the priorities!)


The next time you feel insecure about something, stop for just a moment and think about why? Are you using a fair comparison? Are you sure that person didn’t have help? Did you practice as much, as hard, as diligently? Are you sure that YOU are SUPPOSED to be as talented as that person?? I mean, let’s be real here, some of us are just not meant to be the next Van Gogh. I am pretty okay with that. 

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